Sep 28, 202024 min read

Wait For You by Jennifer L Armentrout

Updated: Jul 4

Wait for You

by Jennifer L Armentrout

Published by William Morrow Paperbacks

Book 1 in the Wait for You series

Some things are worth waiting for…

Traveling thousands of miles from home to enter college is the only way nineteen-year-old Avery Morgansten can escape what happened at the Halloween party five years ago—an event that forever changed her life. All she needs to do is make it to her classes on time, make sure the bracelet on her left wrist stays in place, not draw any attention to herself, and maybe—please God—make a few friends, because surely that would be a nice change of pace. The one thing she didn’t need and never planned on was capturing the attention of the one guy who could shatter the precarious future she’s building for herself.

Some things are worth experiencing…

Cameron Hamilton is six feet and three inches of swoon-worthy hotness, complete with a pair of striking blue eyes and a remarkable ability to make her want things she believed were irrevocably stolen from her. She knows she needs to stay away from him, but Cam is freaking everywhere, with his charm, his witty banter, and that damn dimple that’s just so… so lickable. Getting involved with him is dangerous, but when ignoring the simmering tension that sparks whenever they are around each other becomes impossible, he brings out a side of her she never knew existed.

Some things should never be kept quiet…

But when Avery starts receiving threatening emails and phone calls forcing her to face a past she wants silenced, she’s has no other choice but to acknowledge that someone is refusing to allow her to let go of that night when everything changed. When the devastating truth comes out, will she resurface this time with one less scar? And can Cam be there to help her or will he be dragged down with her?

And some things are worth fighting for…

Genre

#NewAdultRomance

#Interconnected Romance

Triggers

Trauma relating to past sexual assault

This book deals a lot with the emotional trauma after rape. Please be advised.

Wait for You by Jennifer L Armentrout is the first book in the Wait for You series. Wait for You is centered on Avery Morgansten, a college freshman from the other side of the country, trying to escape from a past tarnished by something horrific that happened at a party. New state, new school, new life. Maybe some friends. What she didn't want was attention. What she didn't expect, or plan for, was gaining the attention of Cameron Hamilton, fellow college student, and one of the most chased after men on campus. Handsome, sweet, and funny, he makes Avery feel things she never thought possible. When her past comes ringing into her new life, it threatens to ruin everything. Unless she fights for it.

New Adult romance is usually a hit or a miss for me. Jennifer Armentrout, however, hasn't written anything I haven't liked as of yet. To be honest, looking at the cover, I would have never read it, if it didn't have her name on it. Wait for You did not disappoint. It didn't rely on the romance and sex of the story. It was very much a story of a woman struggling to not just survive trauma, but to truly let go, and live. It's sometimes messy, but there is a realness to the story that strikes true. Have I gone through what Avery has? No. Have I been put in positions that I was uncomfortable in? Sadly, yes. Most women have. The moments of panic and anxiety that Avery's character goes through are described honestly, and as a reader, while there were moments I wanted to jump into the book and say "What the fuck, Avery?", I also got it, and felt those things right along with her.

Avery is an interesting character to read, mostly because she is written to be your average, young woman. Intelligent, funny, and usually sweet, but vulnerable. Like most women, she is stronger and braver than she knows. Some of her choices drive me bonkers, but if I were in her shoes, I may have made the same ones as her. Cameron is just all kinds of swoon. I have a thing for dark hair, blue eyes, and pile on his patience, charm, wit and humor? Perfection. Avery and Cam together make a cute couple, and I totally enjoyed reading their journey.

Wait for You is a shining example of what New Adult romance should be. Young adults learned the ropes of life. A sometimes messy, sometimes great life. I don't think Jennifer Armentrout gets the credit she deserves. Literally every book of hers has been a hit, and I can't wait for the next one.

Cam: "I've been living here for a while - like a couple of years with my roommate. You know, the fucktard who put poor Raphael outside."

Ollie: "Hey! I have a name. It's Senor Fucktard!"

Avery: "That's a very interesting pet."

Cam: "And those are very interesting shorts. What are they? Pizza slices?"

Heat swamped my cheeks

Avery: "They're ice cream cones."

Cam: "Huh. I like them. A lot."

I immediately let go of the door and crossed my arms over my chest. The corner of his lips tipped up. My eyes narrowed.

Avery: "Thanks. That means a lot to me."

Cam: "It should. They have my seal of approval."

Avery: "Well, it's good seeing you again, Cameron."

Cam: "Cam. And hey, we didn't almost run each other over. Look at us, changing up the pattern."

Avery: "That's a good thing. You should get back before Raphael pees on your hand."

Cam: "Would be worth it."

Cam: "Glad to see you make it to class this time. Though I kind of missed the whole running into each other thing. Provided a lot of excitement."

Avery: "I don't miss that. That was really embarrassing."

Cam: "It shouldn't have been."

Avery: "Easy for you to say. You're the one who got plowed. I was doing the plowing."

Cam's mouth opened. Oh my God, did I really just say that? I had.

Avery: "Why are you being so nice to me?"

A brow rose

Cam: "Is that a serious question?"

Avery: "Yes."

Cam: "Alright, I guess I'm just a nice guy. And you're obviously new - a freshman. You seemed a little out of it on Monday and then you ran odd, wouldn't even come into class and I -"

Avery: "I don't want your pity."

I was horrified. He was being nice to me because he though I was a freshman freak. Oh God, that was ...

Cam frowned and I mean really frowned.

Cam: "You don't have my pity, Avery. I'm just saying you seemed out of it on Monday and I figured we'd just be partners."

He stopped and his eyes narrowed

Cam: "I can see that you don't believe me. Maybe it was the cookie? Well, you refused to taste my cookies last night and honestly, I was going to eat the other cookie, but you looked so tired and sad sitting there, I figured you needed the cookie more than I did."

I couldn't tell if he was joking or not, but there was a distinct gleam of amusement in his eyes.

Cam: "And you're pretty."

I blinked

Avery: "What?"

That frown had faded as he opened the door, ushering me out of the class and into the hall.

Cam: "Do not tell me you don't know you're pretty. If so, I'm about to lose all faith in mankind. You don't want to be responsible for that."

Avery: "I know I'm pretty - I mean, that's not what I meant. I don't think I'm ugly. That's what -"

Cam: "Good. Now we've cleared that up."

Tugging on my bag, he steered me toward the stairwell

Cam: "Watch the door. It can be tricky."

Avery: "What does the whole pretty comment have to do with anything?"

Cam: "You asked why I'm so nice to you. It's mutually beneficial."

It sunk in and I stopped on the stair above him.

Avery: "You're nice to me because you think I'm pretty?"

Cam: "And because you have brown eyes. I'm a sucker for big old brown eyes."

He laughed

Cam: "I'm a shallow, shallow boy. Hey, it helps that you're pretty. It brings out the nice guy in me. Makes me want to share my cookies with you."

Avery: "So if I was ugly, you wouldn't be nice to me?"

Cam pivoted around, facing me.

Cam: "I'd still be nice to you if you were ugly."

Avery: "Okay."

A wicked grin slipped over his full lips. He bent his head down and whispered

Cam: "I just wouldn't offer you any cookies."

Avery: "I'm beginning to think cookies is a code word for something else."

Cam: "Maybe it is. And just think about it. If cookie was a code word, whatever it symbolizes, it's been in your mouth, sweetheart."

Part of me was slightly disturbed by that and the other part? A laugh bubbled up my throat and came out, sounding a bit hoarse.

Avery: "You are really ..."

Cam: "Amazing? Awesome? Astonishing?"

Avery: "I was going to go with bizarre."

Cam: "Well, hell, if I had feelings that might actually hurt."

I grinned

Avery: "I guess it's a good thing that you don't have feelings then, huh?"

Cam: "Guess so. You better hurry or you're going to be late to your next class."

Holy shit! He was right.

Cam laughed at my wide eyes and stepped out of my way as I charged down the steps.

Cam: "Damn, if only you moved that fast for my cookies, I'd be a happy guy."

Avery: "Shut up!"

Cam: "Hey! Don't you want to know what cookies is a code word for?"

Avery: "No! Good God, no!"

His laughter followed me into the hall and all the way to my next class.

Jacob: "I want to hear more about Cam's cookies."

Avery: "I should've never told you that."

Jacob: "Whatever."

Brittney giggled

Brittany: "I am so dying to know what cookies are slang for."

Jacob: "Probably his cock."

Avery: "Oh my God."

Brittany nodded.

Brittany: "Makes sense then. I mean, with the whole not sharing cookies with ugly girls."

Avery: "I don't think he really meant that. So, back to our history notes..."

Jacob: "Fuck history. Back to Cam's cock. Do you know, if cookies is a code word for cock, then that means his cock was in your mouth."

I choked on a chip and grabbed my can of soda, inhaling the liquid as my face burned.

Jacob: "Theoretically speaking that is. I don't know how you do it, Avery. If I lived across the hall from him, I'd be plastered to his front door noon to midnight. And I'd be all over his cookies. Yum."

Waving a hand in front of my face, I shook my head.

Avery: "You can have his cookies."

Jacob: "Oh, honey, if he swung batter-batter for my team, I'd be all over that in a heartbeat."

Brittany's eyes rolled.

Brittany: "Big surprise there."

Jacob: "What I don't understand is how come you aren't all over his cookies."

I opened my mouth, but Brittany shook her head

Brittany: "I don't think cookies mean cock. I think it might mean his balls being that its plural and all."

Jacob burst into loud laughter

Jacob: 'Then that means his balls were in your mouth theoretically speaking! Damn, that's some dirty baking."

I gaped at the two. Was this typical conversation?

Avery: "Oh my God, can we please stop talking about his cock and balls or I'll never be able to eat cookies again. Like ever."

Ollie: "I'm skipping, but Cam doesn't have a class until this afternoon, so he's a good boy."

Avery: "And you're a bad boy?"

Ollie's grin was contagious

Ollie: "Oh, I'm a bad, bad boy."

Cam: "Are you listening to me?"

Avery: "Huh? Yes! Yes. Totally."

His grin turned knowing, and I wanted to crawl under a prickly bush.

Cam: "Yeah ... so, you haven't been on a date?"

Avery; "What?"

Cam chuckled softly.

Cam: "You really haven't been listening to me at all. You've been too busy staring at me."

Avery: "I have not!"

My entire face burned with that little fib and I hastily focused on where the couple had been. They were gone now.

He nudged my shoulder.

Cam: "Yes, you were."

I screwed up my face

Avery: "You are so beyond the acceptable level of arrogance."

Cam: "Arrogant? I'm just stating the truth."

Cam tossed his notebook to the ground and leaned back on his elbows, eyeing me through his lowered lashes. That damn, insufferable lopsided grin was on his face.

Cam: "There's nothing wrong with staring at me. I like it."

Cam: "Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart."

Avery: "Keep calling me sweetheart and you're going to be limping."

Cam's eyes widened

Cam: "Oh, listen to you."

Avery: "Whatever."

Cam: "We should do it."

Avery: "Do what? Go home? I'm all about going home, like right now."

Cam: "Go on a date."

Shaking my head, I bent and reached for my bag, but Cam s hot to his feet and grabbed it before I could get my fingers around the strap. I sighed as I held out my hand.

Avery: "Give it to me."

Cam: "I'm trying to."

I shot him a disgusted look.

Avery: "Can we go yet?"

Cam: "Can we go on a date?"

Avery: "Good God, you don't give up."

Cam: "Nope."

I laughed, couldn't help it, and his smile spread in response to the sound.

Avery: "I'm sure there are plenty of girls who want to go out on a date with you."

Cam: "There are."

Avery: "Wow. Modest aren't you?"

Cam: "Why should I be? And I want to go out on a date with you. Not them."

Avery: "I don't understand why."

His dark brows rose.

Cam: "I can think of a few reasons. You're not like most girls. That interests me. You're awkward in this really ... adorable way. You're smart. Want me to list more?"

Avery: "No. Not at all. I don't want to go on a date with you."

Cam didn't look surprised by my response or undaunted.

Cam: "I figured you'd say that."

Avery: "Then why did you ask?"

Cam: "Because I wanted to."

Avery: "Oh. Well. Okay. Glad you got it out of your system."

His brows knitted

Cam: "I haven't gotten it out of my system."

Avery: "You haven't?"

Cam: "Nope."

He flashed a charming grin

Cam: "There's always tomorrow."

Avery: "What about tomorrow?"

Cam: "I'll ask you again."

I shook my head

Avery: "The answer will be the same."

Cam: "Maybe. Maybe not."

He reached out and tapped the tip of my nose.

Cam: "And maybe you'll say yes. I'm a patient guy, and hey, like you said, I don't give up easily."

Avery: "Great."

Cam: "Knew you'd see it that way."

Cam tweaked the tip of my nose, and I swatted his hand away.

Cam: "Don't worry. I know the truth."

Avery: "The truth about what?"

Cam stepped back

Cam: "You want to say yes, but you're just not ready."

My jaw dropped.

Cam: "It's okay."

His grin turned cocky

Cam: "I'm a lot to handle, but I can assure you, you'll have fun handling me."

Then before I could muster up a response worthy of that statement, he tapped my nose once more and then shut the door in my face.

Avery: "I'm not going out with you, Cam."

Cam: "I didn't ask you at this moment, now did I?"

One side of his lips curved up

Cam: "But you will eventually."

My eyes narrowed

Avery: "You're delusional."

Cam: "I'm determined."

Avery: "More like annoying."

Cam: "Most would say amazing."

I rolled my eyes

Avery: "Only in your head."

Cam: "In many heads is what you meant."

Avery: "I do appreciate the eggs. I'm just surprised to see you here ... at eight in the morning."

Cam: "Well, to be honest, I was planning to woo you with my banana nut bread, but that shit ain't happening now. SO all I have left is my delicious eggs."

Avery: "It is really good, but you're not wooing me."

Cam: "Oh, I'm wooing. It's just all about stealth. You don't realize it yet."

Cam: "So, Avery Morgansten, I'm all yours."

I almost choked on the piece of egg

Avery: "I don't want you."

Cam: "Too bad."

Cam: "You're an enigma, Avery Morgansten."

I leaned against the counter, my eyes widening as he proceeded to eat half of the loaf.

Avery: "Not really. More like you are."

Cam: "How so?"

Avery: "You just ate four hard-boiled eggs, you're eating half a loaf, and you have abs that look like they belong on a Bowflex ad."

Cam: "You've been checking me out, haven't you? In-between your flaming insults? I feel like man candy."

I laughed

Avery: "Shut up."

Cam: "I'm a growing boy."

My brows rose, and Cam laughed.

Cam: "So, Avery ..."

Avery: "So, Cam ..."

Cam: "Whatcha doing Tuesday night?"

Avery: "I don't know. Why?"

Cam: "How about you go out with me."

Avery: "Cam."

Cam: "That's not a no."

Avery: "No."

Cam: "Well, that's a no."

Avery: "Yes, it is. Thanks for the eggs."

Cam backed up, lopsided grin in place.

Cam: "How about Wednesday night?"

Avery: "Goodbye, Cam."

I closed the door, grinning.

Jacob: "Fucking overachieving bitch."

I popped a red skittle in my mouth

Avery: "Sorry."

Avery: "What were you doing i n the Den? Don't you normally have class, like right now?"

His lips curved up at the corner and that damn dimple appeared.

Cam: "Yeah, I normally have class right now. But I wanted to see you."

Cam: "At these settings, you should be able to get a clear image of Saturn. Press this and it will capture an image."

Avery: "Okay. I don't think we're supposed to be getting an image of Saturn."

Cam: "Huh. Hey."

Avery: "Hey what?"

Cam: "Go out with me."

Avery: "Shut up."

Grinning I leaned forward, pressing my eye to the telescope. And all I saw was pitch black. Astronomy hated me.

Avery: "I don't see anything."

Cam: "That's because I haven't taken the lens off."

Cam laughed.

I jerked my elbow back. It connected with his stomach.

Avery: 'Asshole."

Cam: "Go out with me."

Avery: "No."

And then the dimple appeared in his cheek, and I let out the breath I was holding.

Cam: "There's always tomorrow."

Avery: "Tomorrow's not going to change anything."

Cam: "We'll see."

Avery: "There's nothing to see. You're wasting your time."

Cam: "When it concerns you, it's never a waste of time."

Jacob: "I'm kind of surprised he hasn't said anything to you about it?"

Avery: "why are you surprised?"

Jacob: "You guys are like attached at the hip -"

Avery: "No, we're not. No."

Jacob: "Okay, do I need to list how often you guys are together? I think it would be safe to assume that you knew about his plans and the size of his cock by now."

Avery: "Oh my God."

Jacob: "Sorry. Sorry. Don't hit. Bitches be scary when they hit."

Jacob: "We totally support her going out with you."

Cam: "I like your friends, Avery."

Jacob: "Oh, we think she should. Like she should do it right now."

Brittany: "We also told her you weren't a serial killer."

Cam nodded

Cam: "That's a glowing recommendation. Hey, at least he's not a serial killer. I'm going to put that on my Facebook profile."

I smirked

Jacob: "And she compared you to Ted Bundy."

Avery: "I hate you. I didn't compare you to Ted Bundy. I just said that you never really know a person. Everyone thought Ted Bundy was a pretty cool guy."

Cam stared at me, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

Cam: "Wow. This just keep getting better."

Avery: "Sorry?"

He sighed, turning back to my friends.

Cam: "She keeps turning me down. Breaks my little heart."

I sighed

Avery: "He's not being serious."

Brittney: "He looks serious."

Cam made the most pitiful sound known to man, and I rolled my eyes

Cam: "And now she thinks I'm the next Ted Bundy."

Avery: "I don't think you're the next Ted Bundy."

Avery: "The Notebook? You own The Notebook?"

Cam: "What's wrong with that?"

Avery: "Oh, nothing is wrong with that. Its just such a ... uh, chick flick."

Cam: "I'm confident enough in my masculinity and sexuality that I can say that Ryan Gosling is just dreamy in this movie."

My jaw hit the floor

He started laughing

Cam: "I'm joking. I don't own The Notebook. Never watched it. Didn't bring any romance movies."

I rolled my eyes

Avery: "You douche."

Cam laughed again.

Text Message exchange:

Cam: Miss me?

Avery: No.

Cam: If u were Pinocchio, ur nose wld span the state.

Avery: Pinocchio? Sounds like your reading level.

Cam: Ha. U wound me. Deeply.

Avery: Though you didn't have feelings?

Cam: I lied. I have so many feels for u. When I lie something else grows on me.

I laughed out loud

Avery: Thanks for sharing

Cam: Ur welcome. Just keeping u updated.

Text Message exchange:

Cam: Fam showering me with affection. U cld learn frm them.

Avery: I think you get enough attention

Cam: I'm needy.

Avery: Boy, don't I know that.

Brittany: "So the next time I answer a late night booty call from Jimmie and I actually go over to his place, what will you do?"

Avery: "Punch you in the vagina?"

Brittany: "Exactly!"

Cam: "Hey."

Turning my head toward him, I raised my brows

Avery: "Hi."

Cam: "Go out with me."

I smiled.

Avery: "Shut up, Cam."

Avery: "Are you done dressing me like I'm your own personal Barbie?"

Jacob: "Bitch, if you were my Barbie, you'd be half naked."

Brit: "Whoa. That was..."

Jacob: "Really hot. I thought you two were going to rip off each other's clothes and start making babies right here on the dirty, beer covered floor. Like I was going to have to start charging admission for what was about to go down."

Brittany: "Fuck 'em."

I tipped my head back and laughed.

Avery: "Fuck 'em"

Brittany: "That's my girl."

Cam: "Avery?"

I swallowed

Avery: "Cam?"

Cam: "Go out on a date with me."

Avery: "Yes."

Jacob: "Whoever let me drink as much as I did last night should be smacked in the face."

Brittany: "Well, you let me spend 'quality time' with Jimmie, so whatever."

Jacob: "And how did that go? You looked like you were walking a little funny to the car."

Brit snorted

Brittany: "Yeah, you're giving Jimmie way too much credit. I left with you and when Jimmie did text me later, because hello, why wouldn't he? I didn't answer. I was a good girl."

Jacob: "Good, because if they guy isn't making you walk funny after sex, then he probably isn't anything to write home to mom about."

The moment we stepped out into the hall, Cam's apartment door flung open.

Ollie appeared, a cellphone in one hand and Raphael wiggling in the other.

Ollie: "Smile!"

He snapped a picture on his phone.

Ollie: "It's like my two kids are going to prom."

Both Cam and I were dumbstruck.

Ollie beamed

Ollie: "Putting this in my scrapbook. Have fun!"

Cam: "So based on your first date experience, would you go out on a second?"

Avery: "Like a second in general?"

Cam: "In general."

I shrugged and then tried some of my hot chocolate

Avery: "Well, this was a very good first date. If second dates were like this, then I guess I would."

Cam: "Hmm. With just anyone or ...?"

My lashes lowered

Avery: "Not with just anyone."

Cam: "So it would have to be someone in particular?"

Avery: "I think it would have to be."

Cam: "Interesting."

When he looked at me, his eyes positively twinkled. Christ. I was screwed. Eyes were twinkling at me.

Cam: "Is this someone in particular going to have to wait another two months if thye ask you out?

Avery: "Depends."

Cam: "On?"

Avery: "My mood."

Cam chuckled

Cam: "Get ready.:

Avery: "Okay."

Cam: "I'm going to ask you out again - not dinner, because I like to change things up. It's to the movies."

I pretended to think about it, but I already knew I'd say yes.

Avery: "Movies?"

He nodded

Cam: "But it's a drive-in movie, one of the last ones around."

Avery: "Outside?"

Cam: "Yep. Don't worry. I'd keep you warm."

Avery: "Okay."

His brows rose

Cam: "Okay to the movies?"

Biting down on my lip, I nodded

Cam: "Seriously it isn't going to take me another two months?"

I shook my head.

Brit giggled.

Brit: "Tell him what you told me yesterday."

My cheeks warmed as I thought about what I'd told her on the phone when she'd asked me the same question

Jacob: "So he did kiss you?"

Avery: "Yes."

Brit: "Tell him."

Jacob nodded

Jacob: "Tell me."

I closed my eyes

Avery: "He's a good kisser - a great kisser."

Brit: "That is not what you said."

I frown pulled at Jacob's lips

Jacob: "Tell me or I'm going to start shouting you kissed -"

Avery: "Okay. He kissed me like he wanted to ... eat me up."

Brit giggled around her Twizzler

Jacob's mouth worked for several seconds

Jacob: "I bet he did. Like he really wanted to eat -"

Avery: "I get what you're saying. Thanks."

Cam: "Look, Dad, seriously, you're embarrassing yourself here."

Mr. Hamilton: "Do I look embarrassed, Avery?"

Pressing my lips together, I shook my head.

Cam: "You're sitting here trying to convince me, mom, Avery, and baby Jesus, that Big Foot must exist because apes exist?"

Mr. Hamilton: "Yes! It's called evolution, son. Are they teaching you anything at college?"

Cam rolled his eyes

Cam: "No, Dad, they aren't teaching me about Big Foot at college."

Avery: "Actually, there is the whole missing link theory when it comes to primates."

Mr. Hamilton: "I like this girl."

Mr. Hamilton winked at me.

Cam: "You're not helping."

Mr. Hamilton: "All I'm saying is once you've been out in the woods and heard the things I've heard, you'd believe in Big Foot and the chupacabra."

Cam: "Chupacabra? Aw, come on, Dad."

Mrs. Hamilton shook her head fondly

Mrs. Hamilton: "These are my boys. I'm so proud."

Avery: "They really are quite something else together."

Mrs. Hamilton: "Something else? That's the nice way of saying their bat shit crazy."

Mr. Hamilton: "Hey! You listen here, woman."

Mrs. Hamilton: "You can listen to my foot up your ass if you call me woman again. And you can take that to court."

Cam sighed and lowered his head.

I smothered my giggle with my hand.

Cam: "You sound terrible."

Avery: "Yeah, it's the Black Death and it never goes away."

Cam: "You're drunk."

Avery: "Am not!"

Cam: "A drunk's famous last words before they fall flat on their face."

Avery: "That has not happened ... yet."

Avery: "What are you doing out here?"

Cam: "I was looking for you, you little dumbass."

Avery: "Excuse me? You're out here, so you're a dumbass, too, you dumbass."

Avery: "I missed you."

His hand moved up my back, burying deep in my wing blown hair.

Cam: "I've missed you, sweetheart."

Avery: "Cam?"

He shook his head, hands closing into fists at his sides

Cam: Don't."

Avery: "Don't what?"

His eyes squeezed shut

Cam: "This - don't do this, sweetheart."

Avery: "Isn't that what you want?"

Cam's eyes flew open.

Cam: "I don't expect that, Avery."

I sucked in a breath and it got stuck in my throat

Avery: "You don't want me."

Cam was in front of me within a second, so fast I hadn't even him move. His hands were planted on either side of my head and he leaned down, his face inches from mine. Tension rolled off his body in waves. Air fled my lungs as my body went rigid.

Cam: "Fuck, Avery. You think I don't want you? There's not a single part of you that I don't want, you understand? I want to be on you and inside you. I want you against the wall, on the couch, in your bed, in my bed, and every fucking place I can possibly think of, and trust me, I have a vast imagination when it comes to these kinds of things. Don't ever doubt that I want you. That is not that this is about."

He leaned in, resting his forehead against mine.

Cam: "But not like this - never like this. You're drunk, Avery, and when we get together - because we will get together, you're going to be fully aware of everything that I do to you."

I shifted in his lap.

Cam groaned a deep, rich sound.

Cam: "Sorry. It's morning and you're sitting on me. That's a combination meant to bring any man down."

Avery: "Do you want me to get off you?"

Cam: "Hell no. Absolutely fucking not."

My lips cracked a grin

Avery: "Eggs - you brought eggs."

Cam: "And my skillet. And I brushed my teeth."

Avery: "You didn't out a shirt on."

He cast me a look as he headed into my kitchen

Cam: "I know it would break your heart not to be able to see me shirtless."

Cam: "So where do we go from here? Tell me what you want."

Avery: "What I want?"

Cam: "What do you want from me?"

Avery: "You."

Cam: "Me?"

Avery: "I want you. Obviously, I've never been in a relationship and I don't even know if that's what you want. Maybe it's not -"

Cam: "It is."

Avery: "It is."

He chuckled

Cam: "You sound so surprised, like you can't believe it. It's really kind of adorable. Please continue."

Avery: "Please continue...? I want to be with you."

Cam: "That's the second thing we're in agreement on this morning."

Avery: "You want to be with me?"

Cam: "I've wanted to be with you since the first time you turned me down."

Jacob: "Are you two, you know? Together? Together?"

I didn't get a chance to answer. Cam spun me around and kissed me, right there between the two buildings. It was no friendly peck on the lips. When out tongues touched, my bag slipped off my arm and hit the frosted ground.

Jacob: "Holy crap. I think they're going to making babies."

Avery: "I've thought about you."

Cam: "How?"

Avery: "When I ... touched myself, I thought of you."

Cam: "Holy fuck. That is the hottest thing I've ever heard."

Avery: "That is a brilliant idea."

Cam: "I know, right? I'm full of great shit."

Avery: "Yeah, you're definitely full of it..."

Cam: "Ha."

Cam: "What are you not telling me?"

I couldn't say anything.

His jaw clenched

Cam: "What happened to you?"

Avery: "Nothing! There's nothing to talk about, dammit. Just fucking drop it."

Cam: "You're lying. You're lying to me. Something happened, because that?"

He gestured at where we'd been twined together moments before

Cam: "That wasn't about not being ready. That was about something else, because you know - you know - I would wait for you, Avery. I swear, but you have to tell me what's going on in your head."

My chest ached at his words, but I couldn't say anything.

Cam: "I'm begging you, Avery. You've got to be up front and honest with me. You said that you trusted me. You've got to prove it, because I know there is more to this. I'm not stupid and I'm not blind. I remember how you acted when we first met and I sure as hell remember what you said that night you were drunk."

Oh God. The floor shifted under my feet.

Cam: "And that text message you got? Are you telling me that has nothing to do with this? If you trust me, you will finally tell me, you will finally tell me what the hell is going on."

Avery: "I do trust you."

The tears reached my eyes, blurring him.

Cam: "I don't know what else to do with you, Avery. I've told you shit that I'm not proud of. Stuff that hardly anyone in this world knows and yet you keep shit from me. You keep everything from me. You don't trust me."

Avery: "No - I do."

I started forward but stopped when I saw the look on his face.

Avery: "I trust you with my life."

Cam: "But not with the truth? That's such bullshit, Avery. You don't trust me."

He stalked past me, heading out to the living room.

I followed him, my hands shaking.

Avery: "Cam -"

Cam: "Stop it. I don't know what else to do and I know I don't know everything in the world, but I do know that relationships don't work this way."

Fear punched my in the chest.

Avery: "What are you saying?"

Cam: "What do you think I'm saying, Avery? There are some obvious issues with you and no, don't fucking look at me like I kicked your puppy. Do you think I'd break up with you because of whatever the hell went on with you? Just like you thought I'd think differently of you when I saw the scar on your wrist? I know you think that and that's bullshit."

Sorrow and raw anger flooded his voice.

Cam: "How can there be any future for us if you cant be honest with me? If you can't really trust that how I feel about you is strong enough, then we have nothing. This is the shit that ends relationships. Not the past, Avery, but the present."

Cam: "You were fourteen, Avery. You did the best you could in the situation. You survived."

I lifted my head then.

Avery: "But that's just it, you know? All I've been doing is surviving. I haven't been living. Look at what I've done to us. And yes, I've done this! I pushed you away again."

His expression softened.

Cam: "But you're telling me now."

Avery: "I've let what happened to me five years ago still affect me! When we almost had sex? I wasn't afraid of you or if there'd be pain. It wasn't that. I was afraid that once we started, that what Blaine had done would ruin it for me or that I would ruin it for myself. I am a coward - I was a coward. But it's too late, isn't it? I should've been honest with you months ago so you knew what you were getting into and I'm so sorry that I wasn't."

Cam: "Avery ..."

The back of my throat burned as tears flooded my eyes

Avery: "I'm so sorry, Cam. I know telling you now doesn't change anything but I needed to tell you that you didn't do anything wrong. You were perfect - perfect for me - and I love you. And I know you can't look at me the same now. I understand."

Cam's arms had fallen to his sides. He looked shell shocked.

Cam: "Avery."

Suddenly he was in front of me, cupping my cheeks.

Cam: "What did you say?"

Avery: "That you can't look at me the same?"

Cam: "Not that. Before that."

I sniffed

Avery: "I love you?"

Cam: "You love me?"

His eyes searched mine intensely

Avery: "Yes, but -"

Cam: "Stop. Do you think I look at you differently? I told you I always suspected that something happened -"

Avery: "But you had hope that it wasn't that! You looked at me before with hope and you don't have that anymore."

Cam: "Is that what you really think? Has that been what has been stopping you this whole time from telling me?"

Avery: "Everyone looks at me differently once they know."

Cam: "I'm not everyone, Avery! Not to you, not with you. Do you think I still don't have hope? Hope that you will eventually get past this? That it won't haunt you five more years from now?"

I didn't know what to say, but my heart was racing as he slid his hands down to mine. He placed them on his chest, right above his heart.

Cam: "I have hope. I have hope because I love you - I've been in love with you, Avery. Probably before I even realized that I was."

My dad took a deep breath

Dad: "You know what I've missed most of all? I miss watching you dance."

Cam: "What are you up to?"

Avery: "Nothing. Everything."

Avery: "I want you, Cam."

Cam: "You have me. You so fucking have me."

Cam: "I could stare at you for a lifetime. It would never grow old."

Avery: "Even when I'm old?"

Cam: "Even then."

Cam: "I love you. I love you so very much."