Dawn of Forever
by Jewel E. Ann
Self-Published
Book 3 in the Jack & Jill Series
’til death do us part.
Aric James Monaghan promised Jillian Knight Portland. With a heavy heart and a light bag, she travels to the West Coast for the man she loved. In a blink her worlds collide, holding her hostage to a past filled with lies, deceit, and revenge.
Four Caskets
Two Bodies
It all started with a boy and a girl—their tragic love story is shared through the eyes of the enemy.
Every word fades dreams and shatters memories as life slips away. Jillian needs a Knight, Jessica needs a miracle, and together they need a savior.
Genre
Triggers
Violence, Murder, Terminal Cancer, Suicide, Kidnapping, Memories of Kidnapping/Murder, Memories of Rape, Domestic Violence
I'm mentally banging my hands on my keyboard because THIS BOOK!
Jewel E. Ann ripped my heart out, then put it back in.
It still hurts thinking about it.
I just can't get over that SO MUCH happens in less than 400 pages.
Jewel E. Ann is a phenomenal writer. The way she weaved all these stories together was perfect. As I've said before, she is able to write so many different types of love in a story, yet all of them have their importance.
I've been pretty good the last two reviews not spoiling, but now that I'm on the last book of Jill/AJ and Jess/Luke's trilogy, I'm going to get into spoilers. SO DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THESE BOOKS. Don't ruin it for yourself. I just have to get my thoughts out.
Okay? You promise to go read the books first?
Cool.
Okay.
There are certain things I was convinced of since the first book that I just KNEW were going to happen.
I knew Jill/Jess and Luke were endgame. Despite Jill falling in love with AJ, it didn't take away from her feelings from Luke. There was no way we weren't getting Luke back in the picture with the way she loved him.
I also had a feeling that Knox wasn't a good guy - and he was.
But back to Jill/Jess ... I struggled. Because despite his grumpiness, despite some of the things he had done (which we learn is no fault of his own, but his cancer), I liked him. I liked Jill and him together. Were they destined to be together like I feel like Jess and Luke are? The way Jewel wrote this book, I'm left feeling like they were.
Luke and Jess were endgame.
Jess loved Luke and never stopped.
She also fell in love with AJ.
A different type of love, just just as strong. If one believes in fate, the terrible things that happened in Jess's life that led her to her new identity and AJ, needed to happen so that AJ could have a few months of happiness. As he wrote to her before the end, she healed him in the way it mattered.
So I struggled. I wanted Luke back - and I'm so glad we did, because I fell in love with him during Jill's stories of him - but I didn't want anything bad to happen to AJ.
I hate that he died. Story wise, it makes sense, but they way it happened was heartbreaking. Cancer sucks. It's brutal, and Jewel didn't sugarcoat what it did to him. But the way he died was especially brutal. It was ultimately his choice, but Jackson telling him everything about their past life, and about Luke, felt like a blow he didn't need before dying.
A part of me didn't think he actually did it.
I didn't think Jewel could be so cruel.
Heart. Torn. Out.
I loved getting Luke's POV in the present. It just reaffirmed all of Jill/Jess's memories of their relationship, and the love they have for one another. One thing I couldn't get over, though, was his family. I couldn't imagine my family pressuring me to date even a year after the death of my husband. He had a life with Jess - for years. They were engaged to be married, and he thought she died. And they pressured him into dating?
Now, I get that for story purposes, it added a little bit of tension, but it seemed out of character for his family and Luke. I'm also glad it was quickly dealt with so that Luke could go find his girl.
What I really appreciated about this book was that they didn't just jump into each other's arms. Despite the selflessness of her act of staging her death, and not separating him from his family so he could hide with her - there would be a lot of hurt and anger there. Add on top of that that while he grieved, she fell in love with another man, and he was forced to not only hear about it, but see pictures of them? He would need time to process that. She would need time to grieve AJ. It makes sense that it wasn't instantaneous, even if, at the moment, that is what you want. At the time, I was shaking my kindle, mentally yelling "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" but now, with time, I definitely appreciate that time it took.
I can't not talk about Jackson. He is probably one of my favorite characters in this series. It's funny, because these first three books heavily center around his sister and Luke and AJ, - and he falls in love with Ryn too -but these books also really center on the love between a brother and sister. The way they support one another, and will do anything for one another, is just so sweet. He has always been there for Jess/Jill, especially in her darker moments, but the way he came through for her at the end - wow. Perfect.
So that's it. Now that my heart has been put back in my chest, I'm ready to start book four - which is a bit of a time jump. Book four is 20 years in the future - centering around Jackson and Ryn's daughter.
Jackson as a dad, and Jessica as an aunt?
Good luck to any man who falls in love with her.
And those parts with Lake and Cage ..... I knew there was going to be a book for them!
Sunny: “Someday you’ll understand. Someday you’ll fall in love and it will brand your heart forever. And if life keeps you apart, you may invite others into your heart, but it will never truly be theirs. One stamp. One person.”
Jessica: “I’m messy.”
She bit back her grin.
Luke: “You’re the worst.”
Luke refused to hide his smile. It looked truly stunning on his handsome face.
Jessica: “I’m stubborn.”
Luke: “Contumacious.”
She giggled.
Jessica: “I can’t cook.”
Luke: “I’d rather starve than eat what you make.”
She pinched her lips together and nodded.
Jessica: “I think this could work.”
Jessica: “If there were only one path to you, I’d take the heartache, the deaths, the loss, the pain … the insanity. I’d spend an eternity in Hell for one single breath with you.”
Taking his hand, she pressed it against her chest.
Jessica: “Do you feel that? That’s you, Luke. You’re my heart.”
Jessica: “So when did you make your decision?”
Luke reached for the shared red sweatshirt wadded on the floor a few feet away and draped it over Jessica’s back. She seemed content sprawled out on his chest, but he felt goose bumps along her skin.
Luke: “What decision?”
Jessica: “The one where you had to choose between orderliness and me. Surely you knew you couldn’t have both.”
She teased his nipple between her teeth so he pinched her ass, eliciting a squeal and the release of his hostage nipple.
Luke: “The first time we kissed. Orderliness doesn’t turn me on like you do.”
Jessica giggled. He loved that giggle. Every day she seemed to reclaim a piece of her innocence, and he felt honored beyond words to be the one to help her put those pieces back together.
Jessica: “I bet you get at least a semi from a spotless mirror and perfectly-folded hand towels.”
He shrugged.
Luke: “It may twitch a bit.”
Luke: “I want to be your everything, but only while I’m here. If the day comes that I’m not, then let me go. Let me be your greatest memory.”
Jessica: “What would you have said if I was pregnant?”
Luke: “Nothing.”
He kissed her shoulder then bit it.
Jessica: “Nothing?”
Luke: “Nope.”
Jessica: “Why not?”
Luke: “Because the best things in life leave me speechless.”
Jessica: “I worship the ground you walk on.”
A blinding smile grew along his face as he pulled her into his arms and whispered in her ear,
Luke: “Impossible. When I’m with you my feet don’t touch the ground.”
Jack: “Don’t let my sister hear that. She’d hunt down that professor and castrate him, then she’d do the same thing to your ex-husband.”
Ryn: “So I should definitely say something to her?”
Ryn: “Tell me we’re not just fucking.”
He stopped. Ryn clenched her muscles around him buried inside of her. The fullness stole her breath as much as the intensity in his eyes.
Jack: “We’re having intercourse.”
A smile crept along his face. Ryn dug her nails into his ass. He teased his lips over hers.
Jack: “Our genitals are having a play date.”
She bit his lower lip. He chuckled.
Jack: “I’m holing up for the winter.”
Snaking a hand between them, she squeezed a testicle.
Jack: “Okay … okay.”
He flinched.
Ryn: “Tell me what this is.”
Jackson planted soft kisses on her entire face then hovered over her lips.
Jack: “I’m making love to you, Ryn. You’re the only woman I’ve made love to. And this? You? It’s my whole fucking world.”
Lake: “You’re not cheating on her?”
Only Lake could bring a smile to his face in the midst of so much pain.
Luke: “That depends on how you look at it. I’m searching for a woman with Jessica’s build, but blond hair, and she goes by the name Jillian Knight.”
Lake: “Jillian Knight?”
Luke nodded.
Lake: “I can’t imagine her as a blonde. How does it look on her?”
Luke: “Hideous. Stunning. Disturbing. Mesmerizing.”
Jessica: “Yep. I swear on my uncle’s grave I’m not getting cold feet over marrying you.”
He pulled away from the curb.
Luke: “That’s not very comforting.”
Jessica: “Why do you say that?”
Luke: “You don’t have an uncle. Your dad’s an only child and your mom has a younger sister who lives in Canada.”
Jessica: “Exactly, I’ve only seen my aunt once in my life. She basically divorced the family when she moved to Vancouver with her rich lover. My mom didn’t even send her an invitation to the wedding. Fucking Cathy got an invite, but not my aunt, which is fine. I don’t really want either one of them there. But in my dreams I had this amazing uncle who was a NASCAR driver and he let me drive his car around the track as fast as I wanted and whenever I wanted. When I was younger he took me for ice cream—twist cones dipped in chocolate. He tragically died after winning Daytona. An RV in the parking lot backed over him. So when I say I swear on my uncle’s grave, it means a lot.”
Luke: “Payback’s a bitch, sweetheart.”
He sucked at her neck just short of leaving a mark. Out-of-control Luke made Jessica all kinds of crazy. Their bed was too far. She wanted him right then, not a second longer to wait.
Jessica: “Tell me I’ve been a bad girl, daddy.”
Luke froze, lips still pressed to her neck.
Luke: “What did you just say?”
Jessica: “I’ve been a really naughty girl, big daddy, you need to spank me.”
He released his grip on her ass so fast she could barely remember the feel of it. The elevator doors opened. His long strides took him to the door twice as fast as hers did.
Luke: “You’ve ruined the moment. We may never have sex again.”
Lake: “My brother’s fiancée died a year ago. Her stuff still hangs in his closet. It’s just stuff, but there has to be a finality to get rid of it. I bet you’ll feel it when the last thing is removed from here and someone else buys the place. The ‘stuff’ is the epilogue. The story is over, but part of it lives on like a ghost for just a few more pages. What’s left at the end of the epilogue?”
Cage: “Nothing.”
Lake cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes.
Lake: “Depends on how you look at it.”
Cage: “And how would you look at it?”
Lake: “I’m not sure yet. My boyfriend died in the accident that took my leg. When I came out of my coma the funeral was over, his parents had cleaned out his apartment, and some other person lived there. I turned the page after the final chapter only to find no epilogue. The author of my life sucker punched me.”
Cage: “What’s your name?”
She turned.
Lake: “Oh, sorry. I guess after fifteen minutes of talking about my disability, my boobs, and my anger at God, it might be nice to have a name to use when you tell your friends about the crazy chick that stopped to use your bathroom. It’s Lake.”
Cage: “Nice to meet you, Lake. I’m sorry. I have no idea where Jillian is or might be. And for the record, this has been the best fifteen minutes I’ve had in a long time, so I think when I tell my friends it will be about this hot girl that stopped by and how much I hated to see her walk out the door because really … the best fifteen minutes.”
Lake: “You want to know what comes after the epilogue?”
Cage: “What?”
Lake: “A new book filled with endless possibilities.”
Ryn: “Now?”
Jack: “Well, it’s Saturday. We’ll have to wait until Monday. Marry me Monday.”
Ryn squinted.
Ryn: “Are you pregnant?”
He smiled, just barely. She didn’t understand the seriousness of the situation. How could she?
Jack: “If I say yes, will you make an honest man of me?”
Ryn: “Maybe. Are you sure it’s mine?”
Jessica: “Kids were part of a dream that I lost years ago. But Luke is my unicorn. He resurrected my dreams, and he likes to give them back to me one at a time. I’ll have as many of his babies as he wants to give me, but don’t tell him I said that.”
Sunny’s smile beamed as much as her daughter’s.
Sunny: “Why not?”
Jessica: “I like to make him work for things.”
She winked.
Luke: “Babe?”
Luke called, knocking on the bedroom door.
Luke: “Why is the door locked?”
She reached for the zipper to her dress as Sunny jumped up to help.
Jessica: “Uh … what are you doing back so soon?”
Luke: “Look outside. It’s raining. Jones is not a water dog. Open the door.”
He rattled the doorknob.
Jessica: “Just a sec.”
Luke: “What are you doing?”
Jessica: “Hiding my lover under the bed.”
Luke: “Well then take your time. I’d hate for you to hurry and poke a hole in him.”
Luke: “You’re going to marry me.”
She grinned over the strawberry she shoved in her mouth.
Jessica: “I am.”
Luke: “You’re going to have as many babies as I want to give you.”
Jessica gulped her food down.
Jessica: “You were eavesdropping.”
She narrowed her eyes.
Luke: “I have good hearing, that’s all.”
He smirked. She rolled her eyes.
Jessica: “You know, I’ll cut you off at the knees if you get too cocky.”
Luke: “I want at least four.”
He slid his hands up her legs. She shooed them away.
Jessica: “Three. One just got deducted for your eavesdropping.”
Control never lasted. Eventually the illusion of time, the pull of gravity, and catastrophic events reminded everyone of their mortality and their utter insignificance in the great big world. Life was nothing more than one long blink. Here today. Gone tomorrow.
Luke: “Why?”
Jack: “I’d rather she love me in Hell than hate me on Earth.”
Jessica: “Still have my GTO?”
Luke: “I do still have my GTO.”
Jessica: “I miss it.”
Luke: “Lucky GTO.”
Jessica: “I don’t know if I’ll ever truly find my path again, but if I do, you’ll always be my favorite detour.”
Jack: “I hope our baby has your freckles.”
Her eyes filled with tears.
Ryn: “What if I can’t—”
Jack: “Shh …”
He kissed her, his hands gliding down the perfect curves of her beautiful body.
Jack: “Don’t worry about it. I can do this. I used to find all the eggs on Easter before Jessica.”
Ryn laughed through her tears.
Ryn: “Just don’t drown in my pond before you find the eggs.”
Luke: “I lied.”
Jessica closed her eyes at the defeat in his voice behind her.
Luke: “When I told you I’d move on and love again if you died … I lied.”
Luke: “I hate myself for feeling this way. I hate myself for wanting to rip off your clothes and fuck you until I can no longer see that photo, until you can no longer remember his touch, until I’ve reclaimed every part of you right down to your soul.”
He stepped closer, as close as he could get without touching her.
Luke: “In my head I know what you did was selfless and amazing and … the most beautiful gift to him. And the rational part of me is so damn proud of you for finding the part of you that I’ve seen all along.”
She swallowed hard, refusing to shy away, no matter how hard he punched.
Luke: “But with you, my feelings don’t come from my head, they come from my heart. My love for you is selfish because I don’t think you need it anymore. I’ve been walking around here on pins and needles, so afraid that you’re still grieving him, missing him, needing him. I’m so afraid my touch will scare you away. But I’m So. Fucking. Selfish. Because it doesn’t matter whether you need my love anymore …”
He released a sob and so did she.
Luke: “Because I need to love you.”
Drawing in a ragged breath, he shrugged.
Luke: “It’s all I know,”
he whispered.
Jessica: “Dammit, Jones!”
She grabbed his hair because he stood there, hands limp at his sides.
Jessica: “He borrowed me, but you own me. You. Fucking. Own. Me. Take back what’s yours and don’t ever let me go.”
Luke: “A will to live that goes beyond circumstance and possibly even reason. You find something from nothing and feed off it. You’re that flower that sprouts through a crack in the barren granite face of a mountain. You feel what everyone else has to see to believe. You sense the sun before you see its light, and you do it subconsciously. That’s a gift. That’s why you’re still here—alive—with me today.”
Jessica: “My mother once said, ‘Love is reckless because true emotions are immune to logic. The most beautiful love stories are often the most tragic.’”
Dr. Harper: “Mmm …”
Dr. Harper smiled.
Dr. Harper: “Your mother told you the story of her life in just two sentences.”
Dr. Harper: “I’m cured. My words, not hers.”
Ryn: “Is Luke still seeing her?”
Ryn wiped her mouth as Jackson reclaimed the rest of his sandwich.
Jessica: “Yes.”
Jessica laughed.
Jessica: “The guy had me iron his socks to take to Goodwill. You can’t fix that kind of crazy overnight.”
Luke: “Get your own.”
Jackson smirked. Ryn elbowed him.
Ryn: “Don’t be mean.”
Jessica typed a message into her phone.
Jessica: “No, he’s right. I plan on remedying this situation as soon as I get home.”
Jessica: I’m on my way. Get your dick out. I want a Livy too.
Jones: Still waiting for your doctor to give us the go ahead.
Jessica: Dammit, Jones! Meet me in the GTO in 20. Dick. Out. NO CONDOM!
Jessica: “There. I just sent Luke a love letter. Wish me luck. I’m going to get Livy a cousin.”
Jack: “If and I mean if in the most hypothetical sense … if my glasses were vanity glasses, then why would you buy me new ones?”
Ryn shrugged then leaned in to kiss Livy’s chubby cheek.
Jack: “Unless … the glasses are for you.”
She scoffed.
Ryn: “Why would the glasses be for me?”
Jack: “Because you like me to…”
he pressed his fingers over Livy’s ears and whispered
Jack: “…fuck you wearing nothing but those glasses.”
Jack: “You don’t even know what it is I do, and I would offer to help more but I don’t have boobs.”
Ryn: “She doesn’t eat twenty-four hours a day.”
Jack: “Yes, but she fusses easily.”
Ryn: “So?”
Jack: “So … I don’t like it when she’s upset with me.”
Ryn laughed.
Ryn: “She’s not upset with you. She’s a baby. Babies cry.”
Jack: “Because they want boobies.”
Ryn: “Oh my God … let’s go.”
She giggled, nipping at his ear lobe.
Jessica: “This is fate you know.”
Luke: “You think?”
Jessica: “I do. We may have just conceived a child in the same backseat as you were conceived.”
Luke’s eyes popped open. Sorry, Thelma … I had to tell him.
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