All by my Elf
by Olivia Dade
Published by Amazon Original Stories
Book 3 in the Under the Mistletoe Collection
Secret crushes, spicy Christmas treats, heinous holiday traffic, and a fateful snowstorm bring good friends together in a funny, heartfelt short story by bestselling author Olivia Dade.
Nina and William are underpaid adjunct professors at the same university, where winter break is no break at all: ’tis the season to make extra money. When their holiday side hustle has them stranded by a blinding blizzard in the middle of nowhere, there’s nothing to do but cuddle up for warmth and play a game of Never Have I Ever to pass the time. But in the game of love, secrets never stay secret for long…
Genre
All by My Elf is one of the Christmas romance novellas that Amazon released this year. I like when a series like this is released, with each book written by a different author, because it gets me out of my comfort zone and introduces me to different authors.
This is the first time I've read anything by Olivia Dade. It was good.
I didn't love it. I felt there was something repetitive about the story - specifically her assumption that William and her best friend are hooking up. Other than that, I enjoyed it.
There was an element of humor to the story that I appreciated, and I really liked the characters. Particularly that they were both in their late thirties, and still kind of ... struggling. Nina is divorced. Both Nina and William are working jobs that they are undervalued and underpaid in, and not making them happy for the most part. They both just felt undeniably real.
The romance was sweet.
The sex was hot.
The story was good.
The characters were great.
It made me smile.
What can I say? Overall, All by my Elf was a fun short story that wasn't so Christmas-y that it felt cheesy. I would be interested in exploring more of Oliva's work in the future.
SUV Guy: “What’s up with your hot dog?”
When SUV Guy called out the question—which, after almost three weeks of driving the Mincemobile, she’d heard many times before—his breath clouded in the chill.
SUV Guy: “Because it looks like a—”
Nina: “It’s a mincemeat-filled roll of phyllo dough,”
she interrupted hastily, because she knew all too well what the tubular fiberglass structure sitting atop her vehicle’s roof resembled.
Nina: “Drizzled with caramel. One of our most popular products here at Mrs. Claus’s Mincemeat Treats. We sell them in packages of three, as”
—this one pained her, every time—
Nina: “‘Hark, the Phyllo Fingers Rock.’”
SUV Guy looked skeptical. Understandable, since the Mincemobile—twenty-seven feet long, eleven feet tall, and eight feet wide—was clearly a hastily repurposed Weenie on Wheels. And if you slapped a coat of pale-beige acrylic on an enormous freaking hot dog, it looked like a dick. Even if you painted mincemeat peeking out of the ends and golden-brown swirls over the top. Then it simply looked like a dick in urgent need of medical intervention.
William: “As you’ve said before, you’re afraid if you go too fast, our phyllo penis will fly off and impale another car.”
His tone was as dry as her winter elbows.
William: “Without permission.”
Nina: “Enthusiastic consent is important. How did you know I normally speed?”
William: “Sometimes when a car zips past us on the open road, you look at it with this indescribable expression of heartfelt longing and teeth-gnashing envy. It’s simultaneously adorable and hilarious.”
Nina: “People love you. I mean, if they didn’t love you, they probably wouldn’t flash their boobs at you quite so much.”
The man had her pegged. Unfortunately, not in the way she would have preferred.
William: “According to Claudia, even if I’d followed you around all day with a sign reading ‘Please accept my deep and abiding nerd-love, Nina,’ I couldn’t have been any more obvious about my feelings.”
The mustachioed driver of the pickup truck in the right lane, kneeling on his seat with his pants pulled down to his lower thighs. Flashing Nina to get her attention.
Claudia: “Just what we all needed. Another floppy penis.”
When William—clearly pissed—started to unbuckle his seat belt, Nina held up a hand. He reluctantly settled back in his seat and aimed a death stare at the truck driver. Like the complete professional she was, Nina rolled down her window with a pleasant expression.
Nina: “Yes?”
The guy seemed kind of startled by that response. The traffic light turned green. And just as Claudia took her foot off the brake, Nina stuck her arm out the window and pointed up at the phyllo phallus atop the Mincemobile.
Nina: “Mine’s bigger,”
she called out.
The truck driver’s face fell. William laughed. Claudia snorted.
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